During Art Majours‘ hiatus, Jordan Will Nance seems to have filled his time perfecting the art of the Facebook Status Update.
Jordan Will Nance is one-half of local DJ indie dance duo, Art Majours. Beginning in 2008, Jordan and Justin Mooty quickly gained notoriety in the ArkLaTex music scene and were noticed by Tiga‘s Turbo Recordings. Art Majours did a remix for Tiga and Zombie Nation released by Turbo, and gained airtime on BBC Radio 1. Currently signed to DJ Quickie Mart‘s New Orleans-based label Supermart Produce, the duo plans to return this year, possibly under a new name.
Here are his best Facebook statuses of all time:
1. He died as he lived, refusing to believe it was Digiorno.
2. I hate One Direction fans, my fans need to oscillate and cool the whole room.
3. Macklemore performs “Don’t Make Fun Of People Ordering Salad At McDonald’s How Would U Feel If U Were A Salad” & begins healing process.
4. Had a cool dream last night where I was abandoned at a small Las Vegas bar/used car lot owned by Johnny Depp and Naomi Watts. I kept trying to sell my car so I could buy a new one, but I would keep getting robbed by a gang of 8 year old kids with rat tails in the parking lot. Also, Grimace from The McDonald’s gang was the bartender.
5. Be sure to practice safe sex. Once you’re good enough, you’re allowed to try danger sex.
6. Has anybody seen that grumpy cat meme? Hahaha oh man that’s great lol
7. Saw a photo on Facebook that says “THE MOST ATTRACTIVE THING A MAN CAN DO IS CHANGE A DIAPER”. Well ladies, I change mine like 3 times a day. /flex
8. I’LL PRONOUNCE “ACAI” ANY WAY I PLEASE.
9. Starbucks’ pumpkin spice lattes are back early. Do you hear that? It is the sound of white girl tears of joy hitting the floor everywhere.
10. Hell is a place where all your Google history from the past 5 years is recited out loud in front of your parents.
11. Damn girl, are you the Adobe license agreement? Because you ask me to make changes every day & I’m too scared to say anything but Yes.
12. ”Bro, do u even-”
I do, bro.
“and Bro, do u even?”
*wipes tears of happiness*
Yes bro… I do!
“I pronounce you bro and bro, you may now fist bump.”
13. I like my women like I like my coffee: hot, black, decaf, not too foamy, tall, blended, scalding, fresh, free trade, armed, Somalian.
14. ARE U READY SHREVEPORT?!
I CAN’T HEAR YOU!!
I CAN’T SEE YOU EITHER!!
OH GOD SOMEONE PLEASE HELP ME
*crowd just loses it*
15. I’m going to be a slutty ‘Wilson’ from Castaway on Halloween.
16. “That’s So Raven” by Edgar Allan Poe
17. Remember when Casper got to be partially mortal for one night? I wish I could have Pepsi Blue again for one night…